Barney and FRIENDS
by Nikki Ness
Summary: For all the years they've all hung out at Coffee Perk, they have never noticed the bar right across the street.


_**Kids, there was this one moment that happened to your Aunt Robin and your Uncle Barney that led me to meet your mother. And I didn't even have to be in it. It all started when your Uncle Barney was trying different ways to tell your Aunt Robin that he has fallen in love with her without actually telling her that he has fallen in love with her.**_

**SCENE: Lily's kindergarten classroom. She is having a PTA meeting. Robin and Barney show up.**

**Lily: **"What are you guys doing here?"

**Barney: **"I didn't know you have to RSVP to come to these things."

**Lily: **"No, you don't. You need to have a kid to come to these things."

**Barney: **"I did. I brought Grant." points at Barney's fake son who is literally stealing candies from babies.

**Lily: **"Barney! He's ten!"

**Barney: **"Jeez, Lil. It's a party. Be glad there are _people_ here."

**Lily: **"This isn't a party! It's a meeting! A Parent-Teacher meeting! I can't do my job when I have to think of you scaring all the moms away!"

**Barney: **"I'll be nice, I promise."

**Lily: **"No! Leave! And take Robin with you... hey, where's Robin?"

**Barney: **"Somewhere. I don't know. Lily. Lil. Lil. Lil."

**Lily: **"I'm talking to you Barney."

**Barney: **"I took her here so she'll remember how terrible it is to be around children and she'll remember how awesome it is to hang out with the single most awesome-est single alive- Me!"

**Lily: **"Well, Robin's right over there talking to Emma and she seems to be enjoying herself. You better get her out of here before Emma's single dad sees her or you'll lose. I've seen him. He's hot."

**Barney: **"Pffft. You know Robin. Babies are dealbreakers... hey, who. Is. That?" stares at the pretty mom who just walked in.

A little girl pulls Robin by the leg.

**Robin:** kneels to level with her "Hi sweetie. Has your mom ever told you not to pull other people's dresses because they might be Prada?"

**Little Girl: **shakes her head

_**Kids, I often mention that your Aunt Robin hates kids, but she loved this one. Of course, she didn't know it at the time. She just thought that the little girl pulling on her designer clothes was an affirmation of her vow to not have kids ever.**_

**Little Girl: **"Will you draw me a pachycephalosaurus?"  
**Robin: **"A what?"

**Little Girl: **"A pachycephalosaurus."

**Robin: **"Why don't you ask Miss Aldrin to draw you a... pachy-something. She's an artist... and I don't get paid for this..."

**Little Girl: **"But she's busy. Please draw me one?"

**Robin: **"Fine." draws something. "Here you go."

**Little Girl: **giggles "But this is a flower!"

**Robin: **"What are you, the Little Prince? Here." draws a box. "Inside is your dinosaur."

**Little Girl: **"You're silly."

**Robin: **"Says the little girl wearing a bigger bow than her head."

**Little Girl: **"Please draw me a pachycephalosaurus."

**Robin: **sighs "Okay, but only if you give me half your candy bar." smiles then draws. "...and that's how you draw a pachycephalosaurus. Wow, I said it."

**a Dad: **"Tyrannosaurus."

**Robin: **"What?"

**a Dad: **"Tyrannosaurus. You drew a tyrannosaurus. Actually, you kinda drew it like how the ancient American Indian tribes would draw something on the walls of their homes..."

**Robin: **"Huh."

**a Dad: **stops himself and laughs. "I don't know why I do that. I'm... Ross. I'm Emma's mom."

**Robin: **"Who's Emma? Oh, the little girl. Right. I'm Robin."

**Ross: **"Are you that newscaster from channel 1?"

**Robin: **"I used to be, yeah."

**Ross: **"You know I stopped watching that when you left."

**Robin: **smiles "Really?"

_**If your Uncle Barney had not spent the PTA meeting talking to your Aunt Lily about his plans for the night, your Aunt Robin would never have met Ross... and Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin would have lived happily ever after... and I would never have met your mother.**_

_Son: __**"**__What does that have anything to do with how you met mom?"_

_Daughter: "Yeah. How does Uncle Ross fit into all of this?"_

_**Wait for it, kids. This story is going to be legendary.**_

_**

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**_You know the drill. Reviews = updates.


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